Archive for College

‘Tis the Season to be grumpy

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 20, 2007 by clarkykestrel

Today was the last day of college before that oh so joyous (my arse) day we call Christmas. People often say to me “How can you hate Christmas? You get to spend time with your family and it is really cheery and cheesy.” That precisely there, is why I hate Christmas. It’s horrible trapped in the house for at least a few days with my mother. Maybe I would enjoy it more if I had more of a family but as I don’t we will never know.

In my younger years Christmas would have started off at my house with my mum and at some point mid morning would have migrated over to my grandparents house for Christmas dinner, catching up with my great-uncle & great-aunties and general festive merriment. Now it is 2007, My Grandfather and one of my great-aunties passed on many years ago, then just a few months ago my remaining great-auntie and great-uncle have also passed away, my Nan is still with us though thankfully, in the physical sense anyway but is currently incarcerated in a building that seems to have been created by the same architect that came up with the hotel in the shinning. (I’ll get back to that later) So this Christmas around the dinner table will sit; me and my mother. You have no idea how pathetic it seems when it comes to cracker pulling.

Today after being released from Strodes till I am forced to return on the 6th of January, a few things happened. First thing to happen was I vowed to have my revenge upon David-Fucking-Ginger-Fucktard-Faulkner, he informed my business teacher that we had to attend her lesson even though she thought the college day finished before her lesson began, then he fucks off home why we go to business. After this a few of my friends and I went to relax and de-stress in the best way there is… with beer. Then after this we went had a meal and I had many laughs and a bloody good day, despite Maxwell being a right annoying and rude prick at times. (I am truly amazed it has taken this long for me to complain about him in some way in my blog)

Then I had to leave my friends as today my Nan got moved from hospital and into a new nursing home, so me and my Mum went to visit her and see how she was settling in. This place is without a doubt the most scariest place I have been in my life. It is the perfect seen for a horror film. It’s bleak and dark inside, it made me think of a hospital that could have been last used in the 1930′s, and I suppose considering the buildings current use it well could of been an old hospital. The corridors in this building seem to stretch out forever without an end ever coming into site and as you walk down these endless corridors you are greeted with a variety of moans and groans as you pass various doors. At one stage on our expedition through the corridors of the Nursing Home we passed a kitchen and I looked through the door and there is a chef standing there staring at me with a huge-fuck-off knife in his hands. This did not help with me finding this place bloody terrifying. What also didn’t help that in half of the rooms patients seemed to be strapped to the bed and in every room there are contraptions (which I can only assume are as close to chains as NHS inspectors allow) hanging from the ceiling. I later found out these contraptions are because the nurses aren’t allowed to lift patients out of bed as it is against health and safety. Lazy Fucks.

I Return

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on December 11, 2007 by clarkykestrel

As Sara & Josh have been pointing out to me, I have gone a while without posting a blog. This has made me realise that there are people out there that are enjoying reading my rants.

Well since my last post I have been moved into my new business class which now replaces my lunch break. The initial anger has subsided but I must say that fact that I don’t get to spend my breaks with my incredibly awesome mates any more does suck rather large balls. The time that was previously reserved for them is now spent with the foul creature know as Sue Haynes and some of the scum of the Strodes’ Society.

I appear to have got over this though and jubilant times have ensued. I even believe myself to be over Laura, yes about fucking time I know, but I have moved on although it would seem not for the better. My friend Iffi thought he would be helpful and set me up with one of his mates. Jolly nice of him I thought, then I find out this friend is a weirdo and a moron to boot. She genuinely thinks that people with green eyes can’t see dogs and that I have green eyes and the only reason I can describe what a dog looks like is because I have seen them in pictures. Anyway I am not really enjoying her company to be quite honest yet she seems ever so slightly infatuated with me.

Unfortunately this isn’t the only girl trouble I am currently experiencing. I met up with an old friend of mine at a party on Saturday (I truly awesome party may I add) and all was going well till she wouldn’t stop telling me she loved me which wierded me out a bit. Then upon our journey home in the middle of Chertsey at 1 o’clock in the morning she tried to remove my shirt while saying “Clarky, I want to fuck you” Now many people may be thrilled to here this but I am not like most people. This just kind of freaked me out coming from an old friend. I defused the situation then went to get a lift post haste.

The reason that I am in such a good mood lately can be blamed upon one thing and one thing only, my friends. I have always known how much my friends mean to me but in recent weeks I have realised that I mean more to them then I previously thought. I am not saying I didn’t think they truly liked me or cared for me but I have come to realise that I am loved and missed when I am not around. I was away from college for one day and when I came back I had people asking me where I had been for ages and asking why they haven’t seen me around in a while. Now this made me feel very loved and I am ever so grateful for the awesome friends I have both new and old. This has for some reason increased my drive, energy levels and confidence. All good in my book and I am using them at every opportunity.

So to sum up;

Girls are still confusing,

College is still stressful,

Mum’s still a pain,

Life isn’t a bitch though,

Because I have some fucking awesome friends to live it with.

What was the good news?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 26, 2007 by clarkykestrel

Girls are confusing,

College is stressful,

Mum’s a pain,

Life’s a bitch.

I am condensing the the moaning, depressive side of my blog today. But just incase you are into that side of me I will explain my screen name. The teacher that has been giving my Mother status updates on what I am doing/ should be doing walked into my business class today to address the class; “I have some good news and some bad news. Firstly I am taking over teaching your business class, but I will have to move the class to a different timetable slot and 2 of you will have to change class.”

I am still awaiting this good news she speaks off.

Now the reason for the more upbeat blog today is that I have come to realise that I enjoyed reading my first blog post personally, I felt that it was a good thing that I was starting with this blog. Now I read some of my more recent blog posts back and cringe. It has also come to my attention that my blog is attracting more readers. Ok there is only 4 confirmed readers but that is 400% more then I knew about yesterday so can’t knock it.

I’ve Had Enough

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 19, 2007 by clarkykestrel

Since my last post I have become increasingly fed up with college. A women at my college is now giving my mum nightly updates on me, is forcing me to attend visits that I really don’t want to go on and then making me pay to go on them and she wants me to attend an extra 5 hours a week of classes for revision purposes.

This combined with the stress my graphics project is putting me under is making me hate college all together. I would probably drop out from the stress it is causing me but college is my one link to a social life and without completing college I feel my life is truly going nowhere. The stress is confined to college either I come home and have to hear more of the same from my mum who today got past the point of asking “Am I ok?” and went back to her normal standards of screaming “What the hell is wrong with you?!?” If it wasn’t for the fact I have a hundred quid to my name and nowhere to go I would be moving out.

To top it all off on Thursday night Laura my ex that is becoming quite a major feature of this blog started talking to me again. Despite my hints of it probably not being the best idea for us to talk as I am trying to get over her, she is persistent. She is making my head hurt, she spends half her time talking about our previous dates and why we get on so well and the other half talking about the guy that we broke up over. Mixed messages much. I just had a bit of an argument with her as she suggested that I don’t care for her enough to bother attending a funeral, unfortunately during my anger at this comment and the proceeding rant I may have accidentally let slip that I still have feelings for her. Time will tell how things shape up in this respect. I don’t even know what outcome I would consider best.

Reason for concern?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 15, 2007 by clarkykestrel

As I write this I am in a rather angry mood. I don’t really know entirely why but I have felt angry all day. The fact that today was parents evening added to this problem just a couple of hours ago. I have the recurring urge to punch people and grab people by the throat =[ I’m back to being like I was at secondary school which, I had hoped I had left this emotional state behind along with that god awful place. I hope that this part of me is just stopping in for a visit and not moving back in. Although it’s only myself to blame if it does.

After a day of repressing my violent side, how I would of loved to come home and unwind by committing mass-murder (all in a computer game environment of course) I had the joy of Parent’s Evening to go at college instead. It was pretty much the usual talk mostly; “Michael is doing ok but needs to put more effort in”, “Michael is a good student he just needs to get more involved in class”…

Today however was different, 3 out of my 4 tutors told my mum they think I am unhappy. Now I admit even at the best of times I am not a little ray of sunshine, but I don’t think I have appeared any more “down” recently then I have for years, in fact I would say the exact opposite. So anyway now I have my mum asking me constantly what’s the matter with me. Bloody marvelous isn’t it that she only starts to worry about it after several of my teachers have made it apparent to her.

Anyway I am going to stop writing now and go blow some shit up (again in a video game environment of course)

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