First of all I would like to start off by saying that my last post was an angry rant that was written on the spare of the moment when I was in a particularly bad mood and since calming down I have considered deleting it numerous times. But over the last couple of days a few people have mentioned it so I decided to keep it and just write a follow up post that is written under completely opposing emotions.

So the day that I have been waiting for all summer is finally here; A level results day. Woke up this morning just before 7 to look to see my exam results on the Strode’s website, expecting that this would get updated before the UCAS website but found nothing but a blank page when I got there. So while I’m waiting for the Strode’s website to get updated I thought I would log onto UCAS just to check where I am greeted by the following message:

Pure joy occurred following this, despite my mum being incredibly patronizing, and I had a wide smile over my face. At this point I was really wondering what grades I must have got in my exams, after all UEA wanted an A in Computing and a B in Environmental Science to let me on the course. So there I was waiting for the Strode’s website to get updated so I could see the grades which I thought must have exceeded my expectations.

Well I was wrong, I did worse then I had predicted. My grade breakdown is as follows:

Computing A2 – B
Environmental Science A2 – D
Government & Politics AS– C
Java – Pass

This is combined with the A levels I already have from previous years:

Graphics with Material Technology A2 – C
Business Studies A2 – D
2D Art AS – E

So it seems despite falling short of my target grades by more then the odd grade, I have still been allotted a place at my first choice University. For a few minutes, (mostly thanks to my mum’s input) I panicked and thought that UCAS must have got it all wrong and that I hadn’t actually got into UEA but it has actually happened.

So now I have a month until I start at UEA which will most likely fly by, partly due to the fact that I’m going to be wishing Bon Voyage to a few of my good friends over the next couple of weeks, and also that I am going to be at Reading Festival next week. If there was enough goings on there (which I’m sure there will be) and that it doesn’t take me to many days to recover, I’ll do a blog post about it.

Well so far this summer has been rather dull with not much to speak off occurring, just been waiting for the 20^th of August; this date is the day that the A level results are released. To say I’m anxious about them would be an understatement. I‘m hoping for an A in Computing and a B in Environmental Science to get into my desired university, University of East Anglia, or UEA for short. A year ago to get an A and a B seemed impossible but after a third year stranded at Strode’s College without many friends around for company I have really pulled my finger out and it might just be obtainable, MIGHT.

I really want to get in to UEA, although I suppose that isn’t much of a shock as everyone wants to get into there first choice university, but from the first time I visited UEA I fell in love with it and realized this was where I wanted to study. My desire to get into UEA is only strengthened by the voice in my head telling me I have made a terrible mistake in picking my second choice university, Staffordshire. I picked it for the fact that it was the only course to offer me a lower offer to get in but the closer it gets till the start of the term the more I find out about it that turns me off going there.

UEA on the other hand just grows in appeal to me with its interesting and strangely beautiful campus, its amazing social & music scene and its perfect course, Computer Science with Imaging and Multi-media, which is computer science mixed with aspects of video editing.

So it’s with this longing to get in to UEA so badly that the fear of not getting in has come along, and I know there is no point in worrying about it atm as there is nothing I can do but the 20^th of August is taking so long to get here I can’t help but have it bother me.

I’ve been longing to go to university for so long now in no small part for the fact that it would allow me to move out and away from my mother. For years she treated me like shit putting the few boyfriends she’s managed to get before me, shutting me in my room when they came over up until I was 15, last time she actually had a boyfriend, made me lie to my granddad shortly before his death which I still feel guilt for, bullied my Nan before she went senile and when ever I defended my Nan I just ended up getting the wrath of my Mum. As my now only living family member you think we would have some special bond but alas. She seems to think she’s entitled to talk to me as rudely and condescending as she likes but if I even raise my voice talking to her I’m made to feel like an awful son.

This is all coming off the back of an argument with her that started in the most stupid way: I’m in my room with the radio on. She says something through the door to me, which later turned out to be “Have you closed the window downstairs yet?”. I couldn’t hear her so I turned off the radio and opened the door where this exchange takes place:

Mum: (in my face) “I didn’t say come to the door, just answer the question.”
Me: “I didn’t hear the question.”
Mum: “Did. You. Close. The. Window? I didn’t say you needed to come to the door.”
Me: (Admittedly in an annoyed tone) “Yes and I couldn’t hear you.”

Then from this some how it descends into an argument where she tells me I don’t spend enough time with her, despite the fact I came back from a stay in Birmingham with her just a few hours ago. Then as she often does in arguments goes on to tell me why I’m a bad son and how her friends children are so much better than me, at least she hasn’t gone on about how my friends are better children to their parents than I in a while.

So after this bizarre and pointless argument and much slamming of doors by her I decided to vent my rage through my blog like the good ol’ days. But I have been sitting here thinking that although I’m going to love uni so much for allowing me to move out to live my life, I’m still going to have to end up back here betweens terms when she will probably be as bad as ever, if not worse due to me being a “bad son” at university and not spending time with her. </rant>

Right, well, I’m currently doing my exams at college, had 2 today in fact, just the 1 more left than I am free for the summer. I always used to find it stupid when people said they were free at the end of exams, it’s not really trapping you anyway, but now I have changed my opinion. Over the last few weeks I have felt I haven’t been able to undertake any personnel projects as I have to be preparing for my exams and this year with the ending of the examination period it will signal the end of my third and final year at Strodes which has had an oppressing and depressing affect over me.

The astute among you will notice from the URL that I am now have my own domain. This is thanks to Josh who bought me it for my birthday. Well, when I say bought me it for my birthday, he intended to, it actually worked out that he kept a tally in his head of the amount of money for drinks and cinema tickets he has subbed me until the amount was enough to make me do it myself. We reached that magic figure earlier this week. So many thanks to Josh for the domain, the help setting it up and no doubt the future help he will give me.

The writing of this post has flowed quite well considering I had no idea what I was going to talk about when I started it. On a slightly off-topic note – actually there is no topic so I guess it isn’t off-topic – I had forgotten how much I like the band Say Anything, I haven’t really listened to them in a long time because they were a band I associated with an ex-girlfriend, (vagueness prevents tag cloud growth) but I now realise this was retarded I like this band way more then I ever liked her. I realise they’re not everyone’s cup of tea but they are an amazing live band (rank among the best I have seen) and I less-than-3-them. They make a nice, more mellow, change from the majority of the music I listen.

Right well I better depart now as I’m heading down the George shortly and haven’t started getting ready. I’d like to say I will post again soon but I have said that a few times without making good on my word so I’ll just leave it with farewell.

P.S. I know that title is a load of wank but I couldn’t think of one and it’s the only thing I could think of with any relevance to the post content.

I haven’t been in to the whole blogging thing as much lately which has lead to some rather naff posts as of late. I am hoping I can redeem myself and bring this blog up to manic depressive-humorous standards. Right now is the part I commence with talking about the occurrences in the life of Clarky…

Exams are over, huzzah! Coursework commences, balls! I am already lagging behind on my coursework and I have only had most of it a week, I feel so proud. The computing coursework is rather interesting, the business coursework is rather not. My 18th came and went marvelously, seems ages ago now. Went out and got rather drunk to commemorate the event, was coping rather well till Max made me down a double shot of absinthe. I remember shortly after drinking that going down Staines High Street head-banging to Creeping Death by Metallica. Good times were had by all.

Oh yer btw, WTF has happened to you guys. Today was the first time I have had break with you lot in ages and the group seems to have disbanded in my absence. Matt and Sara are MIA, (although I got an explanation for that from her blog) Ben is randomly running up Egham High Street joining in attacks on me from Tom Rush and Maxwell hangs around with the “Wankers”. (admittedly he wasn’t today) It’s all gone to pot, get it sorted people.

Now on to some more shocking news that is going to probably surprise some of my more devoted readers, this will probably even come as a shock to any random unknowns that have read my previous posts. Despite all my Rambling about her, I am back together with Laura. To be honest it seems shocking to me as well and I am the one that is going out with her. I know some of you are going to be against it and that is what makes you awesome friends because I know you are only looking out for me, I am however going to go ahead with this and see what happens.

This coming Wednesday, the 16th of January is my birthday, not just my birthday but my 18th birthday. This means that I will now be able to drink legally whenever and I will be able to vote in the election that Gordon Brown is going to have to face at some point in the near future.

I am well aware that this has shaped up to be a rather boring post and I have just told you about a load of shit you already knew and didn’t care about. I just wanted to post something before I get out of the habit of writing for it. Hopefully after my birthday I will have some stories to share.