Right, well, I’m currently doing my exams at college, had 2 today in fact, just the 1 more left than I am free for the summer. I always used to find it stupid when people said they were free at the end of exams, it’s not really trapping you anyway, but now I have changed my opinion. Over the last few weeks I have felt I haven’t been able to undertake any personnel projects as I have to be preparing for my exams and this year with the ending of the examination period it will signal the end of my third and final year at Strodes which has had an oppressing and depressing affect over me.

The astute among you will notice from the URL that I am now have my own domain. This is thanks to Josh who bought me it for my birthday. Well, when I say bought me it for my birthday, he intended to, it actually worked out that he kept a tally in his head of the amount of money for drinks and cinema tickets he has subbed me until the amount was enough to make me do it myself. We reached that magic figure earlier this week. So many thanks to Josh for the domain, the help setting it up and no doubt the future help he will give me.

The writing of this post has flowed quite well considering I had no idea what I was going to talk about when I started it. On a slightly off-topic note – actually there is no topic so I guess it isn’t off-topic – I had forgotten how much I like the band Say Anything, I haven’t really listened to them in a long time because they were a band I associated with an ex-girlfriend, (vagueness prevents tag cloud growth) but I now realise this was retarded I like this band way more then I ever liked her. I realise they’re not everyone’s cup of tea but they are an amazing live band (rank among the best I have seen) and I less-than-3-them. They make a nice, more mellow, change from the majority of the music I listen.

Right well I better depart now as I’m heading down the George shortly and haven’t started getting ready. I’d like to say I will post again soon but I have said that a few times without making good on my word so I’ll just leave it with farewell.

P.S. I know that title is a load of wank but I couldn’t think of one and it’s the only thing I could think of with any relevance to the post content.

After I last wrote a post the benefits of writing on this blog has returned to me. I come here to rant about stuff and then I seem to be a happier person IRL. The last couple of weeks have been good, I actually bother talking to some of first years at college now rather then just sitting there wishing they were the people from my year and I’ve been putting more effort in academically. On that note I was very happy this week to get my first exam results back ever that did not show an E grade; Computing – 2 A’s, Environmental Science – B and Government and Politics – A.

Since last time I wrote I have set up a twitter account and as my friend Josh pointed out it’s weird how on Facebook I can have no desire to update my status yet on Twitter I am fine with doing it at every opportunity. Any twitterers out there can follow me here.

As much as I like coming on here and just writing posts of my rants I do feel there should be more to my blog then there currently is at times and I am struggling with where to go from here. I already have friends whos blogs review, offer technical support/reviews TV shows, show art & craft, list funny quotations and criticize everything, where is my place in the blogosphere? Is my place purely to write grouchy posts about the comings and goings of my life? I guess if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be The Rambling Grumpy Adolescent.

Due to the success of The True Story Of Christmas I decided a couple months back to do one for the pointless holiday know as Easter, or as I like to call it Zombie Jesus Day. (Thanks to Cyanide & Happiness.) Unless you are one of those moronic people that believe the Bible to be fact, the only purpose of Easter is to stuff your faces with chocolate eggs, not even half of the people that refer to themselves as Christians even give a shit about what this day is supposedly about. Oh well who gives a shit about that Biblical tosh anyway, we all know you’re here for my interpretation of it.

Well this Dawn Of The Deity story begins with Good Friday or as I lovingly call it – Jesus got P0wn3d Day!!1! I have never really understood why Church Fags* call it Good Friday, as I understand it, there wasn’t a particular lot of good going on for anyone. Unless you are Judas of course because then you are in teh moneyz. I like to think of this story much like a computer game. As my name for this day suggests, this is the day that Jesus dies. Jesus was betrayed by his close friend Judas, Jesus decided to not boot Judas from the Earth and forgive him instead, and upon Jesus death a big cross appeared above his head, much like in Halo 3. Now from what I have determined from films and pictures, Jesus must have been playing a capture the hill game against the Romans as most of the dying seems to happening on the hill, I think it is safe to say the Romans owned.

Our story picks up again 2 days later on Easter Sunday, A.K.A. Zombie Jesus Day. Now unfortunately 2,000 years ago technology wasn’t as advanced and there were fewer servers around. Because of this there was tremendous lag, this meant that it took a whole 2 days for Jesus to respawn. Jesus goes to re-group with his team mates. Now unfortunately my Biblical knowledge on what happens now in the Bible is non-existent due to the fact that I realised it was a load of bollocks when I was about 9. Maybe he went and tried to reclaim the hill, maybe he went to betray Judas and tea-bag him or maybe he just went to dick about in a Hog.

The next day comes and as it is the day after Easter Sunday some imaginative sought at the Church came up with the name Easter Monday. Being fair though even I had trouble naming this day so I think I will call it “End Game”. On this day the great host in the sky, or God as some know him, decided to end the game and Jesus was returned to the big matchmaking lobby in the sky.

Well I hope you have enjoyed another interpretation of a Biblical event by yours truly. I feel that I should credit Tom Rush for a conversation we had quite a while back on the matter and thanks to Cyanide & Happiness for the original idea.

*Church fags was the response I got from Josh when I asked for a collective term to describe Catholic fucktards and Christian morons. I mean it’s despicable how un politically correct that is. Josh you should be ashamed.

Due to the fact I have been writing less I have missed out on writing some humorous stories in blog form. One such story being that I got a new phone and my mum saying to me “You better not lose this in the next 2 weeks or something” and me replying “I won’t, I have never lost a phone before”. Then 6 days passed and I went to see 30 Seconds To Mars and sometime between the beginning of 30STM’s first song and then end of it I had managed to lose it already. Sods law at work again. I must take this moment though to commend Vodafone on their excellent customer service and by 18:00 the next day I had a replacement phone and sim card.

The key factor in me writing less frequently would be Laura. I find myself spending a lot of my time with her. She seems to come around mine at least twice a week and we see each other more when we can. At the moment I am very happy with her and I hope it stays that way for a long time to come. On Monday I went with her to get her tattoo which actually annoyed me because she beat me to getting one. *throws a sulk* She had a vine of ivy done around her wrist and while I was there the guy told me if I come in with a picture of what I want my tattoo to look like he will knock up a design. So hopefully will be doing that shortly. Me and laura have been back together a month already and a great month it has been. I do realise most of my readers that I know of truly don’t give a shit about affairs of the heart so I shall stop that now. Anyway any complaints about the rareness of my posts can be forwarded to: Laura Glennon.

Right now I have to think of something to write about Josh so his name in the tag cloud isn’t going to lose out to Laura’s. Ah got something, my plans for tomorrow are to go around Josh’s house and watch the 3rd episode of lost Season 3. Friday I am spending the evening with Laura as it’s one month on and all that, Sunday I am going to see Enter Shikari which is going to be crazy, I am probably going to be a bit battered on Monday. Saturday is reserved for all the coursework I have procrastinated doing thus far.

This post has been sitting in my mental in-pile for a over a week now and will now seem long over due. Last Friday, the 8th of February a great event in the world of gaming occurred, LANdersonshatch II. You see we were given the day off college due to the fact that open evening was the night before and it gave the teachers the chance to have a lie in. So in the early hours of Friday morning whilst partaking in some Halo 3, an idea was formed. This was the second LAN party event to be held by my good friend Josh, AKA Andersonshatch. (Although the first event didn’t actually have a name and last weeks event didn’t even have a name until we were in Browne’s car on the way to Josh’s.)

The day started off with a huge revelation to me…
My bag is designed for LAN parties.
The dimension of my bag almost exactly equal the dimensions of an Xbox360 + accessories (Power brick included), this meant I had enough room for all my essential gaming bits, yet my Xbox360 was safe and snug. When we initially arrived at Josh’s house it was just me, him and Browne there. I have been to Josh’s many times now, but each time I go it is more and more apparent that his house is a geek’s paradise and is the ideal place to host a LAN party. Gaming commenced with Gears of War and while Browne and Josh played in the living room I was in the cinema/gaming room and we kept in tough with each other via phones that Josh had set up for conference call, whilst having music played into both rooms from Josh’s computer.

After I P0wn3d on Gears we went into Josh’s beautiful garden and partook in some trampolining, this was actually my first time on a trampoline which I didn’t think was that big of a deal but Josh and Matt clearly did. After mucking about on the trampoline for a while and breaking every safety regulation for use on the trampoline, the Babb-mobile showed up containing both Babbage himself and Twatwell (Complete with packed lunch prepaired by his girlfriend). With the arrival of these two we got on to doing what we do best, playing Halo. However as a consequence of us doing this we have to put up with what Maxwell doing what he does best, being a complete and utter twat.

For the next few hours time was spent trampolining, getting my arse handed by Browne on guitar hero, trampolining, Babb enraging my girlfriend, trampolining and the epic last level of Halo:CE oh yes and eating pizza. Maxwell most likely regretted moaning about the bit of meat that had fallen on to his slice of pizza due to the mocking from us that pursued about every vegetable on our slices of pizza. Then it came time for Maxwell to leave and this was met with rejoicing and merriment. That sounds a bit harsh but the best parts of the evening did all happen after he departed.

The hilarity really started when Josh introduced us to the speech recognition system on his laptop. At first we were amazed by this brilliant piece of technology, then we realised it can’t understand jack-shit. So we just talked away at it and saw what interesting sentences it could make up. It seems to have particular problems with the word “Batman”, Browne has a particularly dodgy looking video of me after half an hour or so on the laptop. Then after Babb and myself were prohibited from the use of the speech recognition system, we went on to play Crysis across 2 laptops. While seeing the amazing graphics of Crysis on Josh’s laptop and some, erm, interesting graphics on Browne’s Josh was bestowed with an idea; Laptop + Crysis + VGA cable + 50″ Plasma HDTV = Sheer Awesomeness

Amazingly purty is all I have to say on the matter. We finished off the evening rather lazily watching Browne play through portal and gulp down Penguins. Then we journeyed home playing music loudly in Browne’s car just to stop him falling asleep. For a LAN party very little gaming actually occurred but regardless it was one of the greatest days I have had, I eagerly anticipate LANdersonshatch III.

P.S. BTW Babb Laura says she is going too punch you next time she sees you, be careful my friend.

The reason for my weird mood is unknown. Maybe it’s something to do with this weird thing called “being happy” that I am told you can experience. I know some of you aren’t her biggest fans, but I am very happy with Laura. I some of you won’t be very fond of her because of stuff I have previously written in this blog and also due to the fact that you are awesome friends and are looking out for me. I should really stop talking about Laura in my blog, as Josh frequently reminds me I talk about her much more and that Tag Cloud over there –> will consume the world.

Right on to talking about other comings and goings in the life of The Rambling Grumpy Adolescent. Tomorrow I am going to see 30 Seconds To Mars. I haven’t been to a gig in bloody ages now so it will be nice to get back into the swing of things. Get myself prepared for Enter Shikari on the 24th. Good times will be had. I am not liking the fact that the 24th happens to be the last day of half-term and I am going to have to drag my arse into college when I am surely going to be a bit beaten and bruised.

I had an interesting phone call from Babb the other day. The gist of the conversation was that he gave me a number to ring and then I go to this persons house on Thursday with him, when I am at this house I will spend the evening drinking beer and I get paid £40 for it. Ah market research, it’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

Right I believe I have rambled on sufficient amounts now. Just one thing left to say… 3 day weekend WOOT!

I haven’t been in to the whole blogging thing as much lately which has lead to some rather naff posts as of late. I am hoping I can redeem myself and bring this blog up to manic depressive-humorous standards. Right now is the part I commence with talking about the occurrences in the life of Clarky…

Exams are over, huzzah! Coursework commences, balls! I am already lagging behind on my coursework and I have only had most of it a week, I feel so proud. The computing coursework is rather interesting, the business coursework is rather not. My 18th came and went marvelously, seems ages ago now. Went out and got rather drunk to commemorate the event, was coping rather well till Max made me down a double shot of absinthe. I remember shortly after drinking that going down Staines High Street head-banging to Creeping Death by Metallica. Good times were had by all.

Oh yer btw, WTF has happened to you guys. Today was the first time I have had break with you lot in ages and the group seems to have disbanded in my absence. Matt and Sara are MIA, (although I got an explanation for that from her blog) Ben is randomly running up Egham High Street joining in attacks on me from Tom Rush and Maxwell hangs around with the “Wankers”. (admittedly he wasn’t today) It’s all gone to pot, get it sorted people.

Now on to some more shocking news that is going to probably surprise some of my more devoted readers, this will probably even come as a shock to any random unknowns that have read my previous posts. Despite all my Rambling about her, I am back together with Laura. To be honest it seems shocking to me as well and I am the one that is going out with her. I know some of you are going to be against it and that is what makes you awesome friends because I know you are only looking out for me, I am however going to go ahead with this and see what happens.

For yet another year one of those twats off X Factor got the Christmas No.1, it makes me feel stupid for not realising at a much younger age then I did that the success of something in the chart has absolutely fuck all to do with had good a song it is. This leads me nicely on to something I realised today, out of all the Christmas songs there are that get played to death at this time of the year there is only one that is remotely accurate. Christmas isn’t about sleighs, or fat jolly men climbing down the chimney and when was the last time it actually snowed at Christmas. In my opinion the song that best represents Christmas in my opinion (“IMO” – For Josh) is “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. You may ask why I think this best represents Christmas and basically it’s because it is about people being drunk and arguing with each other, and isn’t that truly what Christmas is all about.

I had a bloody good time last night at Matt (Cousins this time) & Lily’s party. The theme of the party was “Music” and as Matt put it best you could “come as your hero! or maybe a drum?” There were some awesome costumes including all 4 members of Kiss, Slash, Freddy Mercury, The Ghost of Pavarotti and a very memorable Peter Browne as Britney Spears. I really hope some one got a picture of Peter. I am not entirely sure wether I made a prat out of myself or I was just more outgoing then usual. Oh well a thoroughly awesome time was had so I don’t care either way.

Well I wish you all a Shitty Christmas and a Crappy New Year. But seriously I hope you all have a good time and as it is the season of giving I will post links to some of my friends blogs like I have been meaning to for a while. (Probably going to be quite pointless because you lot are pretty much the only people that read this.)

Josh – Josh Anderson’s Weblog

Matt (Browne) – Hotstuph’s Weblog

Ben – The Video Games ate My Baby!

Oli – Teenage Politics

Sara – Inside an Abused Mind

Well since my last post I have been moved into my new business class which now replaces my lunch break. The initial anger has subsided but I must say that fact that I don’t get to spend my breaks with my incredibly awesome mates any more does suck rather large balls. The time that was previously reserved for them is now spent with the foul creature know as Sue Haynes and some of the scum of the Strodes’ Society.

I appear to have got over this though and jubilant times have ensued. I even believe myself to be over Laura, yes about fucking time I know, but I have moved on although it would seem not for the better. My friend Iffi thought he would be helpful and set me up with one of his mates. Jolly nice of him I thought, then I find out this friend is a weirdo and a moron to boot. She genuinely thinks that people with green eyes can’t see dogs and that I have green eyes and the only reason I can describe what a dog looks like is because I have seen them in pictures. Anyway I am not really enjoying her company to be quite honest yet she seems ever so slightly infatuated with me.

Unfortunately this isn’t the only girl trouble I am currently experiencing. I met up with an old friend of mine at a party on Saturday (I truly awesome party may I add) and all was going well till she wouldn’t stop telling me she loved me which wierded me out a bit. Then upon our journey home in the middle of Chertsey at 1 o’clock in the morning she tried to remove my shirt while saying “Clarky, I want to fuck you” Now many people may be thrilled to here this but I am not like most people. This just kind of freaked me out coming from an old friend. I defused the situation then went to get a lift post haste.

The reason that I am in such a good mood lately can be blamed upon one thing and one thing only, my friends. I have always known how much my friends mean to me but in recent weeks I have realised that I mean more to them then I previously thought. I am not saying I didn’t think they truly liked me or cared for me but I have come to realise that I am loved and missed when I am not around. I was away from college for one day and when I came back I had people asking me where I had been for ages and asking why they haven’t seen me around in a while. Now this made me feel very loved and I am ever so grateful for the awesome friends I have both new and old. This has for some reason increased my drive, energy levels and confidence. All good in my book and I am using them at every opportunity.

So to sum up;

Girls are still confusing,

College is still stressful,

Mum’s still a pain,

Life isn’t a bitch though,

Because I have some fucking awesome friends to live it with.

Well I am starting this blog in the vain hope that it will help me deal with shit in my life. I got the idea for writing this blog from a good friend of mine. He will probably be the only one that reads this and it is even more likely he will be the only one that will find this a worth while read.

You see me and my friend have a telepathic link of sorts, it is rather scary at times but also quite calming. We share the same ideals and can tell what each other is thinking just by a sideways glance. We can tell when something is bothering the other one almost like a sixth sense. Unfortunately for both me and him though, he gets to use this extra sensory perception far more then he should while I thankfully get to use minimally.

He is the one link remaining to my sanity. This blog is dedicated to you Josh.