It has been a rather weird week for me. Having broken up with Laura on Monday due to circumstances mentioned in a previous blog. I know I should be in a pit of moodiness and depression as I normally would be under these circumstances but for some reason my general mood has been rather…odd.
I have been acting like a loon. Some people may say this isn’t unusual for me but I am not normally like it to this extent. I have been acting out making a bit of a spectacle out of myself (which is rather unlike me), I have been making jokes and comments with no regard for the repercussions.
On Monday I sat outside my college on the pavement next to the main road for an hour and 5 minutes. Just sitting there making passers by feel uncomfortable and potentially pissing them off by getting in there way. This was the beginning of my random week. Since then I seem to have an obsession with waving at everyone (Even if I have been talking to them for the past 50 minutes. Sorry Ben), hugging people excess amounts, jumping around like Zebedee and having random out bursts of screaming and ‘Bree’ing.
Now there is nothing wrong with doing this stuff at all, in fact it is rather amusing for both myself and my friends, it’s just I know that is not how I should be acting. Inside I am gutted about breaking up with Laura and the circumstances we broke up under. I am finding it hard to act accordingly though, I just seem to be wanting to make an arse out of myself at every opportunity. Every now and then throughout the day my thoughts truly get to me and I just seem to die for a brief period in time. I switch off, don’t take anything in and don’t even move. Then I seem to snap out of it like I have just been resuscitated.
Now I don’t consider this normal behaviour, I feel like it’s some psychological abnormality that I have that causes me to act this way in times of great sadness. If someone reading this knows what this could be I would be rather interested to know (although it’s probably only Josh reading this so I don’t hold out much hope).
In my half-hearted quest to find out what could cause me to be this way I came across some tests I could take to rate my psychological health which led to rather humorous results. Firstly there was an evaluation of wether I am clinically depressed or not, if you scored 5 out of 10 it was likely that you were clinically depressed…I scored 8. Then I took another test to rate wether I was stressed or not, if you scored above 250 you were considered to under high amounts of stress, I scored (and this really made me laugh) 500!
I find this hilariously funny even though I should probably be slightly concerned. If I am sounding like some emo fag then I apologize as this is not my intention. I am going to shut up on the matter for now incase I am beginning to grate on you.
